So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
