But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
