bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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