I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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