Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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