I cockslap morals
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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