I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
