The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
