He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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