It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
