I cannot find my penis.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
