summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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