You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Found the puke drawer
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
