If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
