in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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