I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
