dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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