we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize