If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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