I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
