I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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