And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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