soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
