I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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