I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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