i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
