Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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