We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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