We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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