Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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