I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
