My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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