she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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