Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is my gift to your gina
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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