Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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