You work out of a Hotel?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
