And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
