we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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