Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
