this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
