i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
