My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Randomize
