You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
