So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
