how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
