i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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