Don't you send me to vm
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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