He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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