she woke up with a sticky ear
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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