I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
