Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
