If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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