Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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