I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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