hell yes lets make some ravioli
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
